Changing the Culture

This past weekend I attended an excellent workshop with the always inspiring Alison Armstrong.

Of the many ideas that she brought up, one in particular really caught my attention. She said, “All atrocities begin with objectification.” According to her, the destructive behaviors that come out of hate, prejudice, and fear, all begin with objectifying an individual or a group. In relationships, these include beliefs like “All men are jerks,” or “All women are angry and conniving.”

Inherent in this is the message that these people aren’t really human, and that it’s ok or justifiable to judge them as being bad and wrong, which eventually leads to one justifying the actions of an atrocity. Think about it!

Alison’s solution to this is to practice granting everyone their humanity.  An example of her attitude put into practice is as follows.  She recently passed a construction site and heard catcalls from some workers.  Instead of rolling her eyes and silently or verbally judging the men as stupid, insensitive, and disgusting, she turned around said, “Good morning!” as though they were her neighbors. Shocked, they stood for a moment like deer in headlights, but after collecting themselves replied, “Well, good morning, Ma’am!”

I was struck by this idea of objectification because I realized that I actually objectify people in ways I hadn’t considered.  I have judgments about Muslims (because of 911), construction workers, black people (because I want to go up every black person I see and say, “how do you feel” because I’m still giddy about Obama), Republicans (are cold hearted and greedy), meat-eaters, bankers, stock brokers, even other relationship teachers, I imagine the list is long. 

I got closer look at myself and saw I am creating more war in the world just with my thoughts, so I’m ready to change.  I’m ready to practice granting everyone their humanity to make room for the fact that each person is a precious human life. There are Republicans who volunteer in their communities and make loving spouses, construction workers who make their contributions to society and (this is a hard one) gay people who prefer Slumdog to Milk.

What about you? Who do you objectify?

When was the last time you granted someone you objectify their right to be your fellow human? This, I believe, is the next step to a peaceful world.