Your relationship is bigger than the two of you

A relationship is bigger than the two people involved. What does that mean? Did our parents ever suggest such a notion? Do we hear about this in school, in the media, from friends and family? I don’t think so. We have been living in the Dark Ages of Relationships. Check the divorce statistics, in case you didn’t think relationships are in chaos. And if you think the couples who aren’t breaking up are in fulfilling partnerships, I have news for you.

Here’s some food for thought: marriage means union, right? For those of you who are marriage-minded, you are seeking union. When the two melt into one, there is a union. When the sense of separation begins to dissolve, there is union.

Right now there’s a lot of fighting, killing and destruction on the planet – anything but union. Often, the anger that fuels this fighting can be traced back to the fighting that goes on at home. If our planet has any chance of healing itself we have to begin to clean up our own backyard, as individuals and as couples.

If you can at least start to entertain this notion, here is some new language you may find helpful:

The way you treat your partner is an offering, an offering of love. It’s not about giving love and expecting to get love. It’s just giving because, on one level, your whole life is a giving of the love you are.  How you treat your partner affects all beings. Think about it. You are unkind to your partner, he or she goes into contraction, walks out the door and enters the stream of life shut down and unhappy. We are all connected, we are all telepathic. How you treat your partner is how you treat love.