Principles of Ego and Essence in Relationship

Most spiritual traditions look at our human nature as containing both essential nature, which is luminous light, love and freedom awake to itself and its Source, and ego ignorance, which gives us that sense of being separate and deficient in some way or another. All spiritual paths are aiming to help us awaken out of our ego, fearful, dis-connected identity to recognize and live from the inherent love and freedom of our essence. Every meditation practice is working towards this aim.

Relationships can be such a practice – an everyday mirror and tool that shows us where we are grounded within ourself. Our loved ones can help us grow spiritually, when we commit to using our relationships not to grasp for fulfilment but as vehicles for awakening.

Many years ago, whilst exploring this theme, I recognized that these two dimensions within our human nature, ego and essence, have very different goals and drives when it comes to love. This is my articulation of how I see these two drives unfolding within us as we extend ourselves in love. You can clearly see that the ego drive is not really about sharing love, but about grasping to get something from the other we believe we don’t have. All transformation in our spiritual life and in our relational life begins with the willingness to be really honest with ourself about where we are. I hope these principles help you in beginning to get clearer around what is love, and what might think its love, but is actually fear.

Boundless blessings