The First Date…Not

He thought it would be so simple. They met, they had a lot in common. He took her card. A mutual friend recommended them to each other. It was perfect. It was Tuesday. They made a date for Thursday, 7:30. See you then. At 12:30pm on Thursday she sent an email. Something had “come up” and she had to cancel. She said “perhaps we can get together next week.” PERHAPS? What happened to the enthusiasm?

He said to himself. This is a red flag. This is the early warning signal. Just forget it. He sent back a cordial note and said “got your message, yes, MAYBE we can meet next week. Sorry it didn’t work out.” What he really wanted to say was “something came up? No specifics? No details? No real sense of her REALLY wanting to get together?” He wondered, “did she have second thoughts? was she interested, but afraid of getting hurt again? Did an old boyfriend show up after begin absent for two years,” he wondered.

He spoke to a woman friend about this. She said “you’re reading too much into it. You have too much time on your hands, so you make this too important. You have no idea where she’s at.”

She said “send her an email and say ‘I have a bit more time to response now, so I wanted to get back to you. Following up on our perhaps and maybes, I’d would like to get together next week.’”

His friend, a high-powered business woman, said “why don’t you be a man? In business, every word counts. But, in relationships, it’s a bit different,” she admitted.

His friend further said that “men always think that they’re the center of the universe. They talk on and on about THEIR lives, but don’t show much interest in the woman’s life. Maybe she’s just got a really busy life and that’s how she communicates to lots of people.”

He said “I see your point.” But he still felt rejected. It’s so hard to come to an understanding or another’s motivations, especially if we have been hurt. How would you respond to this situation? How will he?

Let’s see if he calls her back.

More on this drama when next we hear from him.