Bridging the Gap

I had a profound insight over the weekend while reading Michael Brown’s Presence Process, which I have talked about before. Here’s what I got from the book—a way we create separation is by focusing on the gap that is between us and another person. It is certainly our conditioning that we are fixated on what’s in-between.
An example from the book is when you go to the grocery store. Where is your attention? On the items you’re buying, how much they cost, where your next errand is, do you need to buy a birthday present, etc. It’s endless. All of the physical items and the intangible thoughts between you and the checkout person are what create separation.

Brown suggests, very simply, that when you get up to the checkout counter, instead of being in your thoughts you ask the checkout person “how are you today?” Say it as though you recognize that they have a precious human life. And then when they are done ringing you up, you say “thank you for taking care of me.”

Depending on how you were raised, this may be natural to you already. But for those like myself, this has been a revelation. It has made me realize that I want to slow down and connect with people to a greater degree than I do now. Brown has given a wonderfully simple framework for achieving that goal.

I have practicing this for the last several days. Not only do I feel like something new has emerged in my relation to the world around me, but the people that I acknowledge seem to really light up.

Give this a try and let us know how it goes for you.